


The Letter

by Jamiebeth



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Guillermo is Angry, M/M, Nandor is Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25253641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamiebeth/pseuds/Jamiebeth
Summary: When Nandor receives a letter from Vladislav the Poker announcing that he has kidnapped Guillermo, it's Nandor to the rescue. But Guillermo doesn't look kidnapped at all; in fact, he looks kinda ticked off. A post-season two finale fic that explores the changing relationship between Nandor and Guillermo.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 11
Kudos: 98





	The Letter

Most vampires lived a solitary existence, only coming together for notable events such as the Bi-Annual Vampire Orgy or the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires. Rarely did they share a house. If they had familiars, there was never any camaraderie. Familiars were slaves, like children to be seen and not heard, and if they died so be it—another would quickly take their place. But not if it were up to Nandor. Not when it came to Guillermo.

Which was why, when he received the letter from notorious Vampiric Council member Vladislav the Poker announcing that Vladislav had Guillermo, and that he must meet with Vladislav alone and unarmed if he ever wanted to see Guillermo again, he slashed his crypt apart in a rage. 

Laszlo heard the commotion and hurried into Nandor’s room where he almost received a clip to the arm with a broadsword. “Whoa there, old chap. Let’s take it down a notch, shall we?” Laszlo said, inspecting his sleeve for damage. 

“He’s going to die!” Nandor roared, swinging the sword at a wooden chair, splintering it into stake-sized pieces. 

“Who is?” Laszlo demanded. 

“Vladislav! The! Poker!” Nandor violently swung the sword one last time and embedded it in the lid of his coffin. 

Maintaining a neutral expression to belie his panic at the mention of Vladislav, Laszlo chose his words carefully. “Vladislav is already dead. Guillermo killed him. Along with the other vampires at the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires."

“Then how do you explain this?!” Nandor slapped a letter into Laszlo’s hand. 

“Well, well,” Laszo said when he finished reading the missive. “What’s your plan?”

“I will do as he asks. What choice do I have?”

V---V V---V V---V V---V

Having traveled by bat, Nandor reverted to human form when he arrived at the Coney Island beach house rental. He checked the letter he was carrying in his pocket to make sure he was at the correct address, and then took a deep, unnecessary breath. He regretted not bringing a carefully wrapped silver dagger with him at the very least; during his conquering days when he met with enemy military generals in neutral territory he had adorned himself with concealed weapons. But Vladislav was very specific--no weapons allowed.

Nandor was very much taken aback when he knocked on the door and it was opened by none other than Guillermo himself, looking healthy and fit, and not at all kidnapped. Guillermo, who was regarding him with distaste as if he were a bug. “You came,” Guillermo said flatly.

“Let me in! I’m here to rescue you!” Nandor pleaded with urgency. Why was Guillermo dragging his feet? 

“Maybe if you were less concerned about your laundry you would’ve noticed I don’t need rescuing. Remember? At the theater?” Guillermo replied, seemingly unfazed by his current situation. 

Vladislav appeared in the hallway behind Guillermo. Ah, it all made sense now. Vladislav held Guillermo in thrall. 

“He is not in thrall,” Vladislav said. 

“Then why is he with you instead of me?” Nandor shouted from the front step. 

“Is he always like this?” Vladislav asked Guillermo.

“You get used to it,” Guillermo replied. 

“He’s kind of pompous.”

“Hey, hey, hey! Stop talking about me in the third person!” 

Guillermo and Vladislav shared a look. “If you promise not to fight or break things, we’ll invite you in,” Guillermo said.

“We? You’re a “we” now?” Nandor asked, incredulous.

“Just promise, ok?” Guillermo said.

Nandor was willing to do whatever it took to protect Guillermo, even if it meant, paradoxically, no violence. "Fine. I promise."

“Then come in,” Vladislav offered magnanimously.

V---V V---V V---V V---V

Nandor, Vladislav, and Guillermo seated themselves in the beach house’s equivalent of a fancy room, Nandor in a chair, and Vladislav and Guillermo on the sofa. Something flared inside Nandor when he observed the ease in which Vladislav and Guillermo interacted, almost as if they were old friends. Guillermo had never been that way with him. No, Guillermo had left him. Twice! After everything he had done for the little guy, too! Vladislav cleared his throat, shaking Nandor out of his thoughts. “You probably wish to discuss the letter.” 

“Yes, the letter in which you said that you had kidnapped Guillermo and if I didn’t meet with you tonight you’d kill him,” Nandor seethed.

“It didn’t say that,” Vladislav replied.

“Maybe not directly, but it was assumed.”

“When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.”

“I am not an ass!”

“Stop arguing!” Guillermo shouted. “Nandor, what Vladislav meant was that I was staying with him, and if you refused to come here tonight I’d be out of your life for good.” 

“You’re staying with Vladislav?! That's even worse!” Nandor yelled at Guillermo accusingly. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake…” Guillermo said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “After I freed you and Nadja, Laszlo, and Colin Robinson at the theater, I got out of there as fast as I could.”

“You didn’t even say goodbye,” Nandor added.

“I was too pissed off. I totally stuck my neck out for you and all you could do was bitch about picking up your own laundry. So after I left, I walked around for a while to burn off all the adrenaline from the fight, and that's when I saw Vladislav.”

“My cellphone was in the dressing room at the theater,” Vladislav explained, “I was trying to find a pay phone. There are none in this city, which is weird, don't you think? What if a human wants to order a pizza but he's on a street corner without his own cellphone? I don't know. It's just weird to me." 

“Anyway, I went into autopilot and pinned him against the side of a building. I put a stake to his heart,” Guillermo said.

Vladislav nodded. “Then he made me promise not to kill any of you, and in return he wouldn’t kill any more vampires. You know how it is with us vampires—when we make a promise we have to keep it. We went to my house in a taxi, which I don’t recommend at all, it was terrible, and drew up a treaty.”

“We realized we get along pretty well. Vladislav’s used to having human friends. He's letting me stay here until I'm back on my feet, and then I'll take over the rent with a bunch of roommates when he moves back to New Zealand. I love my mother, but she treats me like a kid. The end.” 

Too many thoughts screamed at Nandor. He picked the one that screamed the loudest. “There are no more payphones?” 

“Ok, we’re done. See ya,” Guillermo said, getting up. 

“No, wait. Please. I was confused. Sit,” Nandor begged Guillermo, who glared at him and then sat down with his arms folded across his chest.

“That’s my cue to leave. Nandor, as a representative of the Vampiric Council I swear to you that you will be molested no more. You are a vampire of good standing, as are Nadja, Laszlo Cravensworth, and Colin Robinson. I’ll raven you a copy of the treaty,” Vladislav said.

“Thank you,” Nandor replied.

To Guillermo, Vladislav said, “I’ll see you later. There are popsicles in the freezer and I chopped up fruit for you for a snack.” Then Vladislav transformed into a bat and exited the house through the doggie door in the kitchen.

It finally dawned on Nandor. “Guillermo. You can’t kill vampires anymore.”

“No.”

“You traded it to keep me safe.”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Are you really that dense? 

“Yes! Why?”

“Because, you arrogant, narcissistic, infuriating, amazing vampire,” said Guillermo angrily, “you’re more important to me than being a vampire hunter!” 

“Oh. Yes, of course I am. And…you’re going to make me say it, aren’t you? Despite your disrespectful tone, you are very important to me as well,” Nandor confessed. “I don’t want to be aloof anymore.”

“Aloof?”

“So you’d come back.”

“I left you my cell number, my mother’s number, and my email address. You never contacted me a single time since the theater two months ago. I figured it was because you didn’t care. That’s why I had Vladislav send you an ultimatum. But it was all because you thought I’d come back if you were aloof?”

Nandor chuckled. “It does seem kind of silly, now. I wanted to call you every night. I wanted to see you so badly that I drove Laszlo and Nadja nuts and gave Colin Robinson indigestion from eating too much." 

“So where does this leave us now?” Guillermo asked, his voice breaking a little. 

“Come home with me. Be my friend. Let us work out the details later,” Nandor said, moving over to Guillermo and kneeling in front of him. Guillermo’s eyes widened as Nandor cupped the back of his head and kissed him gently, softly, a barely there brush of lips against his. Then Nandor stood and held out his hand, which Guillermo took and was helped to his feet. 

Feeling ornery, Guillermo smiled at Nandor. “I’ll still be your familiar.”

“Oh?” Nandor replied, good humor sparkling in his eyes.

“For twenty dollars an hour plus benefits. Hijo de puta, get back here! Don’t you dare fly out that doggy door!”


End file.
